Who is this service for?
Anyone who is struggling with a sexual attraction to either (prepubescent) children, or to teenagers below the legal age of sexual consent, who is seeking to avoid acting on this (either through contact or internet offending), and who is not currently committing sexual offences.
Most of our clients have never committed an offence or have been convicted and are seeking to refrain from reoffending.
Many are what we call, “Non-contact”, internet offenders.
Do I need to have committed an offence before I can get help?
Certainly not, and It is, in fact, far better to seek help early in order to reduce the risk of doing so.
If I contact you, will you just report me to the police?
We work in accordance with UK (specifically-English) law, and the guidelines & recommendations laid down by The United Kingdom Council for Counselling and Psychotherapy (UKCP), the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the Specialist Treatment Organisation for the Prevention of Sexual Offending (StopSO). There are some links at the bottom of this page.
Under UK law there is no legal requirement for psychotherapists or counselors to report incidences of child abuse or neglect.
There is, however, an ethical and professional duty to protect the vulnerable and to seek to prevent harm taking place.
We will never collude with abuse of any kind.
If a client chooses to disclose current, ongoing or intended harm to children, then this will be reported to the police. This would be done with your full knowledge, unless doing so is likely to increase the risk of harm to others. This includes ongoing internet offending and the online viewing of illegal images.
Likewise, if you disclose historic incidences of abuse to children, or offences to adults of a serious nature, for which you have not been previously convicted.
Apart from where the above exceptions apply, your confidentiality and anonymity will be vigorously protected.
What is the accepted definition of "Paedophilia/Pedophilia"?
This is not as simple as it might appear.
The definition, pronunciation and sometimes even the spelling of this can vary from country to country.
It is listed as a disorder in some of the psychiatric diagnostic manuals (the documents doctors, clinical psychologists and psychiatrist use to guide them in diagnosing patients), though these manuals frequently change and revise their criteria.
Different sources vary, especially around whether someone diagnosed with paedophilia has to have an exclusive (or at the very least, predominant) sexual interest in children (as opposed to them also having a heterosexual/homosexual/bi or pan sexual interest running alongside this).
They also vary according to the specified age- ranges of the children or teenagers that the person is attracted to.
Some clinicians make a distinction between Paedophilia which is broadly defined as an attraction to pre-pubescent children, and Hebephilia, which is defined as an attraction to
pubescent, or very recently post-pubescent children.
These definitions are not always helpful. Below we will offer our own “working definition” which we believe is more useful.
Is being a Paedophile the Same Thing as being a Child Abuser/ Child Molester or a Sex Offender?
No, the quotation we have used, "Not all paedophiles are child sex offenders and not all child sex offenders are paedophiles", is based on the fact that many people with paedophilic urges refrain from acting upon them.
Conversely, it is believed that some of the people who sexually abuse children are not paedophilic in their motivation.
Two examples of this are- sexual sadists, who may sometimes target children (usually because they make far easier targets) and people who will abuse children only when sex with an adult is not readily available to them.
Both of these types of offender are likely to have psychopathic traits or other serious psychiatric issues.
Does Sex Addiction Come Into This?
Sometimes.
Certainly, by no means are all sex addicts sex offenders, and not all sex offenders are sex addicts, though the two can and do, overlap.
Arguably, people who use child pornography are the most likely to be sex addicts.
So What is Your Working Definition of Paedophilia?
Much as we have our own moral views about what the legal age of consent for engaging in sexual activity should be, our chosen definition is;
A strong and persistent sexual attraction for children or teenagers under the legal age of consent.
What Causes Paedophilia?
We don’t know for sure.
Recent research is suggesting it may be something which individuals are born with.
We favour a bio-psycho-social theory of causation. That it is to say that we think it occurs through a combination of biological factors, psychological factors (life events, attachment styles [e.g. the effects of early parenting], co-occuring conditions etc.) and social factors ( e.g. environment, culture, peer group etc.
Can Paedophilia be Cured by Psychotherapy?
A more useful question would be, “can offending be prevented?”, to which the answer is a resounding yes.
We also believe that it is possible, in some cases, for someone who is not exclusively attracted to children, to shift their focus of attraction towards adults, at least to some extent.
We consider the prevention of offending to be, by far, the biggest part of our work.
What help do you provide?
We take a broad, holistic approach.
As well as applying the principles tought by StopSO, Mark draws extensively on relapse prevention models and applies numerous behavioural change techniques from his extensive experience in the addictions field.
The therapy is entirely non-shaming, though can be respectfully confrontative and challenging where appropriate.
We want you to let go of guilt and shame and move on in your life with a healthy sense of self esteem.
You can bring any issue to therapy. It is all about helping you grow and heal as a whole person.
Do you provide help for people struggling to avoid other forms of offending?
Yes, Mark is trained to work with domestic violence perpetrators. Please contact us if you would like to know more about this
Are You Just Misguided Do-Gooders Who Offer Sympathy To People Who Deserve Punishment, Not Therapy?
No. First of all we primarily work with people who have never committed an offence and who are doing everything in their power not to.
We believe the best way to deal with child abuse is to prevent it from happening in the first place.
Likewise we are passionate about helping ex-offenders refrain from re-offending.
We never condone or collude with the abuse of children.
Mark is himself a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and has spent many years supporting victims. He has also worked in the criminal justice field.
Aside from other abuse survivors, Mark probably knows more than anyone how damaging child sexual abuse is to individuals. The effects (if untreated) are often life-long and affect people daily, in every single aspect of their lives, especially with regard to relationships.
We see our services as complimentary to the criminal justice system and not as some sort of replacement for, or alternative to it.
When it is Something Other than paedophilia?
A form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) manifests in what is called “Intrusive Thoughts”.
With this condition, the sufferer frequently experiences unwanted and unpleasant thoughts, commonly inducing the fear that they may behave impulsively in a criminal, immoral, or socially unacceptable way.
Nearly always, these repetitive thoughts run counter to the sufferer’s value system, so, for example, a very religious person might have intrusive thoughts of a blasphemous nature.
They also often relate to fears of being violent or of being sexually inappropriate.
Because of the huge societal stigma attached to sexual offending, especially towards children, it is probably no surprise that this is a common theme for intrusive thoughts- a sort of “paedophilia-phobia”, if you like.
As strange as it may sound, there are people who are inherently non-paedophilic, suffering obsessive thoughts telling them that they are paedophiles.
Many refrain from seeking professional help because of the stigma, or because they fear that they will be misunderstood, judged or reported to the police.
Anyone who is struggling with a sexual attraction to either (prepubescent) children, or to teenagers below the legal age of sexual consent, who is seeking to avoid acting on this (either through contact or internet offending), and who is not currently committing sexual offences.
Most of our clients have never committed an offence or have been convicted and are seeking to refrain from reoffending.
Many are what we call, “Non-contact”, internet offenders.
Do I need to have committed an offence before I can get help?
Certainly not, and It is, in fact, far better to seek help early in order to reduce the risk of doing so.
If I contact you, will you just report me to the police?
We work in accordance with UK (specifically-English) law, and the guidelines & recommendations laid down by The United Kingdom Council for Counselling and Psychotherapy (UKCP), the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the Specialist Treatment Organisation for the Prevention of Sexual Offending (StopSO). There are some links at the bottom of this page.
Under UK law there is no legal requirement for psychotherapists or counselors to report incidences of child abuse or neglect.
There is, however, an ethical and professional duty to protect the vulnerable and to seek to prevent harm taking place.
We will never collude with abuse of any kind.
If a client chooses to disclose current, ongoing or intended harm to children, then this will be reported to the police. This would be done with your full knowledge, unless doing so is likely to increase the risk of harm to others. This includes ongoing internet offending and the online viewing of illegal images.
Likewise, if you disclose historic incidences of abuse to children, or offences to adults of a serious nature, for which you have not been previously convicted.
Apart from where the above exceptions apply, your confidentiality and anonymity will be vigorously protected.
What is the accepted definition of "Paedophilia/Pedophilia"?
This is not as simple as it might appear.
The definition, pronunciation and sometimes even the spelling of this can vary from country to country.
It is listed as a disorder in some of the psychiatric diagnostic manuals (the documents doctors, clinical psychologists and psychiatrist use to guide them in diagnosing patients), though these manuals frequently change and revise their criteria.
Different sources vary, especially around whether someone diagnosed with paedophilia has to have an exclusive (or at the very least, predominant) sexual interest in children (as opposed to them also having a heterosexual/homosexual/bi or pan sexual interest running alongside this).
They also vary according to the specified age- ranges of the children or teenagers that the person is attracted to.
Some clinicians make a distinction between Paedophilia which is broadly defined as an attraction to pre-pubescent children, and Hebephilia, which is defined as an attraction to
pubescent, or very recently post-pubescent children.
These definitions are not always helpful. Below we will offer our own “working definition” which we believe is more useful.
Is being a Paedophile the Same Thing as being a Child Abuser/ Child Molester or a Sex Offender?
No, the quotation we have used, "Not all paedophiles are child sex offenders and not all child sex offenders are paedophiles", is based on the fact that many people with paedophilic urges refrain from acting upon them.
Conversely, it is believed that some of the people who sexually abuse children are not paedophilic in their motivation.
Two examples of this are- sexual sadists, who may sometimes target children (usually because they make far easier targets) and people who will abuse children only when sex with an adult is not readily available to them.
Both of these types of offender are likely to have psychopathic traits or other serious psychiatric issues.
Does Sex Addiction Come Into This?
Sometimes.
Certainly, by no means are all sex addicts sex offenders, and not all sex offenders are sex addicts, though the two can and do, overlap.
Arguably, people who use child pornography are the most likely to be sex addicts.
So What is Your Working Definition of Paedophilia?
Much as we have our own moral views about what the legal age of consent for engaging in sexual activity should be, our chosen definition is;
A strong and persistent sexual attraction for children or teenagers under the legal age of consent.
What Causes Paedophilia?
We don’t know for sure.
Recent research is suggesting it may be something which individuals are born with.
We favour a bio-psycho-social theory of causation. That it is to say that we think it occurs through a combination of biological factors, psychological factors (life events, attachment styles [e.g. the effects of early parenting], co-occuring conditions etc.) and social factors ( e.g. environment, culture, peer group etc.
Can Paedophilia be Cured by Psychotherapy?
A more useful question would be, “can offending be prevented?”, to which the answer is a resounding yes.
We also believe that it is possible, in some cases, for someone who is not exclusively attracted to children, to shift their focus of attraction towards adults, at least to some extent.
We consider the prevention of offending to be, by far, the biggest part of our work.
What help do you provide?
We take a broad, holistic approach.
As well as applying the principles tought by StopSO, Mark draws extensively on relapse prevention models and applies numerous behavioural change techniques from his extensive experience in the addictions field.
The therapy is entirely non-shaming, though can be respectfully confrontative and challenging where appropriate.
We want you to let go of guilt and shame and move on in your life with a healthy sense of self esteem.
You can bring any issue to therapy. It is all about helping you grow and heal as a whole person.
Do you provide help for people struggling to avoid other forms of offending?
Yes, Mark is trained to work with domestic violence perpetrators. Please contact us if you would like to know more about this
Are You Just Misguided Do-Gooders Who Offer Sympathy To People Who Deserve Punishment, Not Therapy?
No. First of all we primarily work with people who have never committed an offence and who are doing everything in their power not to.
We believe the best way to deal with child abuse is to prevent it from happening in the first place.
Likewise we are passionate about helping ex-offenders refrain from re-offending.
We never condone or collude with the abuse of children.
Mark is himself a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and has spent many years supporting victims. He has also worked in the criminal justice field.
Aside from other abuse survivors, Mark probably knows more than anyone how damaging child sexual abuse is to individuals. The effects (if untreated) are often life-long and affect people daily, in every single aspect of their lives, especially with regard to relationships.
We see our services as complimentary to the criminal justice system and not as some sort of replacement for, or alternative to it.
When it is Something Other than paedophilia?
A form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) manifests in what is called “Intrusive Thoughts”.
With this condition, the sufferer frequently experiences unwanted and unpleasant thoughts, commonly inducing the fear that they may behave impulsively in a criminal, immoral, or socially unacceptable way.
Nearly always, these repetitive thoughts run counter to the sufferer’s value system, so, for example, a very religious person might have intrusive thoughts of a blasphemous nature.
They also often relate to fears of being violent or of being sexually inappropriate.
Because of the huge societal stigma attached to sexual offending, especially towards children, it is probably no surprise that this is a common theme for intrusive thoughts- a sort of “paedophilia-phobia”, if you like.
As strange as it may sound, there are people who are inherently non-paedophilic, suffering obsessive thoughts telling them that they are paedophiles.
Many refrain from seeking professional help because of the stigma, or because they fear that they will be misunderstood, judged or reported to the police.